Leave Taking
by Atie
Summary: What happened after Clayton Webb walked away from Harm in Need to Know. Repost preslash


Title: Leave Taking.  
  
Author/Pseudonym: AtieJen  
  
Email: atiejen at yahoo . com   
  
Fandom: JAG  
  
Pairing: Harmon Rabb/Clayton Webb   
  
Rating:PG 13  
  
Series: Not Yet  
  
Archive: Yes please. Just let me know, okay.  
  
Summary: What happened after Clayton Webb walked away from Harm in "Need to Know."  
  
Feedback: Please please please please  
  
Notes: This is my first JAG fic so please be kind to my muses as they are quite shy at the moment. Also, it is a challenge response to Peja's 15 minute and opening line challenge  
  
Beta: Not Beta'd

* * *

"Hold me. Please, just hold me for a minute and then I'll let you go." Harm said to the man in front of him. There were so many other things that he could think to say, but none of them came immediately to mind. As he'd followed Clayton Webb out of the Auditorium where they watched the memorial service for the fallen navy Submariners, he knew that it was partly his fault that his friend/ally was being transferred to the middle of nowhere and he had no words to express his sorrow. This couldn't have been what the other man wanted.  
  
"Rabb, what are you going on about now?" Clayton Webb asked him and he could only blink and shake his head as he answered. "I know that I should really apologize for this, Clay but I can't tell you that I would have done things differently given the chance. I am truly sorry though that it turned out this way."  
  
"Are you thinking that this is your fault, Harm?"  
  
Harm didn't know what his eyes said as he looked into the cool brown tones of the man before him but he must have portrayed the right response because Clay's eyes warmed up and the other man pulled him into the hug that he had asked for.  
  
"You really need to get rid of that hero complex of yours, Commander Rabb. I knew that there was a chance that this would happen when I gave you those files and if I didn't want to, I could have told you no. There was nothing that you would have done about it. And like I told you, it was really better than stars on the wall."  
  
They stayed in the hug a little longer than was the norm for a platonic hug, but Harm knew that this was a chance that he couldn't let go off. There were so many things against his even considering Clayton Webb as anything more than the friend/ally that he was but he wasn't above taking advantage of the opportunity that had presented itself. And he noticed that Clay wasn't complaining.  
  
When they separated, Harm looked down at Clay and tried to say goodbye. Things were different when Clay was just a couple of offices away, but still in Washington, but now...  
  
Swallowing deeply, he looked at his friend and told him, "I hope that it goes better than it sounds for you over there."  
  
"I can't imagine myself being so lucky, Harm but thank you for thinking so."  
  
"Can I see you before you leave?" the question was out before Harm could think twice about it, but he couldn't bring himself to regret asking even as Clay looked at him searchingly. "I don't think that would be a good idea, Harm. No-one knows the exact time I'll be leaving and I like it that way." It sounded like an excuse but Harm didn't press Clay for more.  
  
"Good luck here in Washington and try not to get in too much trouble with me gone, okay." The distance that suddenly appeared in Clay's eyes worried Harm but he shrugged it off.   
  
Something that he came to regret so many months later, when he saw Clay again, in Paraguay. This time, the friend whom he'd been suppressing his feelings for was in the middle of professing his affection to his partner. His very female partner. And as he watched them kiss, Harm couldn't imagine who he was most jealous of, Clay, with whom he had unresolved feelings for, or Mac who was the only woman since Diane that he could even contemplate settling down with.  
  
Regret for missed opportunities hit him like a shot to his chest as he saw the castles that he'd built, albeit in the sand drift away in the wind. Harm turned away from the kiss, swallowing his disappointment, anger, and disheartenment in the face of his two friends turn rivals. The funny thing about it was that he didn't know who was rivaling whom.  
  
The End. 


End file.
